Prosperity Parenting
How parents sabotage their kids’ success and how they can ‘change the story’
Every parent wants the best for their kids. Yet millions of adults unknowingly sabotage their children’s chances for success.
I grew up poor. I was jealous of rich people and didn’t like them. So over the years I kept trying to get rich, not realizing that my subconscious mind was telling me, “Better stop doing that, or you’ll become one of the evil, mean, nasty rich people!”
The messages against wealth and prosperity are all around us, in our culture, media, and religions. But how many parents stop to think about how their own views on getting ahead influence their children’s ability to succeed?
Your core beliefs about everything related to prosperity – money, relationships, health, and spirituality – are set by the time you’re 10 years old. And no one influences those beliefs more than parents.
Millions of parents do this by conveying a negative vision of prosperity and success. If you tell yourself things like “If it wasn’t for bad luck, I’d have no luck at all,” and “I’m always a day late and a dollar short,” you will, consciously or subconsciously, convey these messages to your kids.
The truth is it’s really not that hard to change your beliefs – If you are aware of them and make that choice. Here are some tips:
Identify negative beliefs you may be creating in your children — Do some critical thinking about what kind of beliefs you developed in childhood about money, rich people and wealth. Honestly ask yourself, are you programming your children with thoughts such as money is bad, rich people are evil, or it’s spiritual to be poor? I call these “mind viruses.” Defeating them starts with acknowledging you have them.
Help kids identify anti-prosperity media messages: Did you ever stop to think about how blockbusters like Titanic and Avatar portray wealth, and how those stories can set kids up with attitudes that sabotage their future success? Talk to your kids about the subliminal messages they receive on TV, in movies and other media. Help them to become self-motivated critical thinkers.
Create a positive vision of prosperity: Examine how you react to families with more wealth than yours when speaking to your kids. Do you discuss them with envy or jealousy, or admiration and respect? Talk to your kids about how their thoughts about wealth can shape their future.
People have a hard time believing they are sabotaging their prosperity at age 30, 40, or 50 because of a belief that was formed when they were six, but I see it all the time. And that’s the book that gets written, unless you become aware of the plotline and decide to change the story.
Whether you and your children are on the path to poverty or prosperity is determined by the thoughts you give precedence to. Your thoughts come from the type of vision you have.
Everyone has a vision. Millions have a negative one; many more have a neutral one. It’s vital to help your children develop a positive one.
Randy helps audiences recognize and reject roadblocks to wealth and prosperity with warmth, wit and wisdom drawing from his rags-to-riches story. A former high school dropout, Randy rose from a minimum wage job and spending time in jail as a teen to become a self-made multi-millionaire who has inspired millions of people around the world. He is the author of eight books on success including Prosperity Mind and Accept Your Abundance that have been translated into more than 25 languages and sold millions of copies worldwide. He is among the contributors of Parent eSource about general parenting.
2014 Premier Philanthropic Cocktail Benefit Reception & Auction with Dolores M. Miller
Philadelphia, PA. (PRWEB) February 27, 2014
On April 9, 2014, The Support Center for Child Advocates (Child Advocates, http://www.advokid.org) celebrates 37 years as the nation’s leading pro bono legal and social service advocacy organization at the Annual Benefit Reception & Auction.
“Our silent and live auction, which has become one of Philadelphia’s premier philanthropic events, will be attended by over 1,000 legal, corporate and individual supporters.” – Frank Cervone, Executive Director
Supporters help children who need the
Support Center for Child Advocates!
For those interested in bettering the life of an abused or neglected child, there are several ways to change the story of children in Philadelphia:
1. buy advertising (http://www.advokid.org)
2. donate high end goods or services (http://www.advokid.org)
3. buy a ticket, attend event, bid on high-end big ticket items (http://www.advokid.org)
“Like the saying goes – what doesn’t kill me, makes me stronger, I have come through it all. As a survivor, I know your support will save abused children from years of needing to overcome obstacles that test their will and determination. I also had parents who adopted me, I am not writing this to say, oh, I went through a lot – but to thank all of those who really helped see that they are making a difference!”. – Dolores M. Miller, poet, author and winner of the distinguished advocate award for 2011
To purchase tickets or to advertise in the printed and bound book, visit http://www.advokid.org
Donations can include:
artwork,
sports memorabilia,
vacation get-a-way,
gift cards for restaurants or clothing boutiques
one-of-a-kind experiences
meet with a celebrity
event tickets
Are you able to attend this one-of-a-kind event? (http://www.advokid.org)
Enjoy both the live and silent auctions, indulge in cocktails and hors d’oeuvres, buy dream items and save the life of a child.
The event will be held
April 9th, 2014 5 – 8pm
The Crystal Tea Room,
The Wanamaker Building,
100 Penn Square East,
Philadelphia, PA
To make a donation or inquiry:
Contact: Cate Galbally
cgalbally(at)advokid(dot)org
267-546-9216
Dolores M. Miller, Poet and Author of the Beautiful Warrior writings is a proud supporter of Support Center for Child Advocates. As a survivor of child abuse, Dolores provides hope, courage and healing to the readers of her works. Dolores would like to offer more healing words and inspiration. “I believe in your compassion”, please visit http://www.beautifulwarrior.com to purchase the Beautiful Warrior books and please be sure to like DoloresMMiller on Facebook for daily inspirational messages. ”
For more information visit BeautifulWarrior.com or facebook.com/doloresmmiller
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Parent Child Relationships
This article simply expresses my own thoughts and ideas on parent child relationships. It is certainly an intelligent dissertation based on my own education and experience. I would not however use my beliefs to counter anyone elses beliefs. Relationships are not exact and cant be approached with formulas which might work for mathematical equations and scientific experiments. Relationships are personal and there are too many variables involved for me to attempt to dictate what yours should be. Lets keep those thoughts in mind as we go forward.
The parent child relationship of different types of parents varies based on established social mores. Korean parents will not have the same relationship as urban Americans regardless of their race. Parents who lived four or five centuries ago certainly didnt have the same type of relationship with their children as parents today. The idea of what is normal is established by the mores of the society that the families exist in.
I feel that the most important aspect of the parent child relationship is that the child should trust the parent implicitly. The child may not like every decision that the parent makes but he or she needs to know that all decisions are made with their well being in mind. The parent should play additional roles as the childs mentor, disciplinarian, and guide. Discipline is essential because the child needs to know that there are bounds which cant be crossed in life. In other words it is imperative that the child learns in its formative years that it cant do whatever it wants to do. The parent however must recognize that the child needs room to explore and learn. Too many times we hinder the development of our children by being too strict as disciplinarians.
The child must learn at an early age to trust the parent as a mentor and guide. Confidence must be established. The child can only learn these things by observation. Many times parents think that their job is to give orders or administer commands and to expect blind obedience. The parent must set the established standard by setting the example for the child to follow. The parent who tells the child to go clean his or her room must use their own room as the standard. Anything less only confuses the child. Children will quickly learn to evaluate the words that the parent speaks. Children learn whether to use parents or grandparents to get what they want. They learn which behaviors will elicit the response that they want. We as parents must learn to be careful in our relationship with our children. We must learn to be loving but objective at the same time. We must objectively evaluate our own behaviors as well as those of our children and adjust them as required.
The most difficult parental role is that of the step parent. The natural spouse can make the step parent effective in their relationship with the child or children or they can totally sabotage the relationship based on the amount of support that they give. The mother who has been with her children as a single parent for a long period of time must be very careful not to undermine the step dad in his establishment of authority in the household, especially if the children are male and older.
Many say that the parent must also be a friend and I agree, however the parent must be a parent and disciplinarian first of all. The parents with whom the child resides must be the bigger disciplinarians because they child will get the majority of their socialization and ideals about life from what they observe at home. The Good Life
The Good Life
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Justin Bieber’s Mounting Legal Issues Call for Asset Protection Strategies, Claims UltraTrust.com
Boston, MA (PRWEB) February 04, 2014
CNN reports that in terms of legal headaches and adverse media exposure, Justin Bieber is unlikely to forget the year 2013. He may also want to add 2014 to the list of musical career years that he would just as soon wish to put behind him (1), but his popularity and earning potential do not foreshadow the possibility of shunning the limelight anytime soon.
CNN went on to say that although news media portrayals of Bieber’s alleged antics and purported out-of-control behavior tend to paint a sordid state of affairs, his legal standing and financial affairs seem to be in better shape than his relationship and personal issues. (1) Like any entertainment star of his caliber, Bieber’s net worth makes him a sizable target for lawsuits and potential liability matters. This is something that CBS News discussed nearly a year ago (9).
“In late February 2013, Bieber’s legal troubles only involved lawsuits filed by a former bodyguard as well as from a woman from Oregon who claimed that the Canadian pop star damaged her hearing.” says Rocco Beatrice, Managing Director of Estate Street Partners, LLC. Back then, just about all of Bieber’s legal concerns were mostly concentrated to the United States; in 2013, however, according to CNN, reports of his alleged reckless behavior while on tour emerged from Brazil, Canada, and Southern California (1).
Forbes examined some of Bieber’s vast holdings in the United States, which include real estate in Arizona and Pennsylvania as well as venture capital investments in social media and Internet technology start-ups (2). Mr. Beatrice commented that Bieber’s assets in the United States should certainly merit being held in a properly constructed and executed irrevocable trust: “This is an essential asset protection strategy that would protect Bieber’s wealth as he continues to perform in the United States and around the world.”
In mid-January, Bieber was arrested in South Florida on charges of driving under the influence, illegal street racing and resisting arrest. Reports by the Associated Press indicated that Miami Beach police officers approached a rented Lamborghini sports car driven by Bieber, who allegedly smelled of alcohol at the time and may have been driving at twice the posted speed limit (3).
The Associated Press further reported that Bieber supposedly told law enforcement officers that he had been smoking marijuana and taking prescription drugs at the time he was arrested, and that his mother handled his medication regime (3). As it stands, Bieber is due to appear on Valentine’s Day at the Miami-Dade County Richard E. Gerstein’s Justice Building to answer to one misdemeanor charge of resisting an officer without violence, under docket number B14002900 (4).
According to ABC News, after Bieber’s arrest and bail release in Miami, he left for Toronto. Once in Canada, he surrendered to law enforcement was charged with assault in relation to an alleged incident involving a limousine driver on New Year’s Eve. These criminal allegations are exacerbated by earlier reports that Bieber may have thrown eggs at his neighbor’s home in Southern California (7).
With regard to the legal issues above, Mr. Beatrice commented: “It is easy to speculate from all these reports that Bieber is on the verge of completely losing control, but the facts and legal outcomes thus far paint a different picture.” Mr. Beatrice is referring to Moshe Benabou v. Justin Bieber et al., docket number BC498862, in the Superior Court for the State of California, County of Los Angeles, which CNN reports was recently settled (5). On that case, a professional bodyguard alleged that Bieber assaulted him with a barrage of punches to his upper body. The bodyguard also mentioned that he made no attempt to protect himself from Bieber’s physical attack due to concerns for the singer’s well-being.
“This case could have gone to trial, but it was resolved outside of the courtroom,” explained Mr. Beatrice. “Bieber could face more of these civil lawsuits and complaints that seemingly target the considerable wealth he has gained over the last few years. The alleged criminal charges only elevate his profile in the eyes of potential plaintiffs looking to file civil complaints against him.”
The asset protection benefits of irrevocable trusts such as those offered by UltraTrust.com could bring Bieber and his legal team some level of assurance with regard to keeping his wealth guarded. Bieber’s assets could become property of the trust and not his, thereby keeping his fortune safe for generations to come.
Another issue examined by UltraTrust.com and Mr. Beatrice is the report of, according to the Miami Herald, Bieber spending $ 75,000 in a single outing at a Miami nightclub. (8) “Bieber is an adult who can spend his earnings as best as he sees fit. It is interesting to see alleged reports of profligate spending now; it is almost as if he has grown out of a California Coogan Blocked Trust Account.”
What Mr. Beatrice is referring to is the law that protects minors working in the entertainment and showbiz fields in California, Louisiana, New Mexico, and New York (6). In California, this law requires that 15 percent of earnings by minors working in showbiz be placed in a blocked trust account to prevent careless handling of funds by parents or guardians. Once the minor becomes an adult, the account becomes unblocked. “Perhaps Bieber is now in control of funds previously blocked in a Coogan trust account, that may explain the increased spending. Irrespective of this, any assets that may in his control could be made safer in an irrevocable trust.”
About Estate Street Partners (UltraTrust.com):
For 30 years, Estate Street Partners has been helping clients protect assets from divorce and frivolous lawsuits while eliminating estate taxes and probate as well as ensuring superior Medicaid asset protection for both parents and children with their Premium UltraTrust® Irrevocable Trust. Call (888) 938-5872 to learn more.
Sources:
1. edition.cnn.com/2014/01/31/showbiz/justin-bieber-plane/ – 1/31/14
2. forbes.com/forbes/2012/0504/celebrity-100-12-just-bieber-investments-music-venture-capitalist.html – 5/16/13
3. pressherald.com/news/Pop_star_Justin_Bieber_arrested_in_Miami_area_.html?pagenum=full – 2/4/14
4. miami-dadeclerk.com/cjis/CasePrinter.aspx?case=IEBgpWOt%2fbif6Jwa1QiHlw%3d%3d
5. edition.cnn.com/2014/02/03/showbiz/justin-bieber-bodyguard-lawsuit/index.html – 2/4/14
6. sagaftra.org/content/coogan-law
7. abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/justin-bieber-enters-toronto-police-station-amid-throng/story?id=22289962 – 1/29/14
8. miamiherald.com/2014/01/21/3884150/justin-bieber-blows-wads-of-cash.html 1/21/14
9. cbsnews.com/news/suit-against-justin-bieber-by-fired-bodyguard-claims-assault-seeks-back-pay/ – 1/11/13
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Eight siblings and their mother died in an early morning house fire caused by an electrical baseboard heater when temperatures dipped to 1 degree in rural Greenville, Kentucky. The home belonged to 36-year-old Chad Watson, his 35-year-old wife Larae …
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Maryland cop shoots, kills son stabbing his mother
Officials told CBS DC that the off-duty Montgomery County police officer, James Stirkens, fired at his son to stop him from stabbing the mother of three during the violent spat in their Gaithersburg home about 8 p.m.. The wounded man, Christopher, died …
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Central New York Property Management Firm Saves $5,308 Per Month With Energy-Efficient Lighting Upgrades Through the National Grid Small Business Services Program
Syracuse, NY (PRWEB) January 23, 2014
Carlton Management, LLC, a multi-family residential and commercial property management firm in Central New York, recently completed exterior LED lighting upgrades at 22 of its properties. The upgrades, completed by SmartWatt Energy via the National Grid Small Business Services Program, have reduced Carlton Management’s monthly energy costs by more than $ 5,000.
“We have completed lighting upgrades at 22 of our properties through the National Grid Small Business Services Program because we saw the energy savings,” said Marke Lantry, Property Manager for Carlton Management. “It was a no brainer.”
After conducting a complimentary energy analysis of all outdoor lighting, SmartWatt proposed a plan to replace the existing inefficient exterior parking lot, building, and canopy lighting systems with energy-efficient LED lighting fixtures. These upgrades came with a National Grid rebate of $ 141,932 and, according to National Grid, are expected to pay for themselves in approximately 23 months.
Additionally, Carlton Management has referred 18 of its tenants to complete interior lighting upgrades at their facilities through the National Grid Small Business Services Program. One tenant, Mother Nature Pet Supply, completed interior T-12 to T-8 fluorescent lighting upgrades at its retail store in Manlius, NY. The upgrades are expected to save $ 122 per month in energy costs and came with a National Grid rebate of $ 2,143.
“The lighting upgrades have made a huge difference in our store,” said Carla DellContrada, Owner of Mother Nature Pet Supply. “The new lights are at least three times brighter.”
SmartWatt is the administrator and implementation contractor for National Grid’s Small Business Services Program in Upstate New York. The National Grid Small Business Services Program helps businesses with an average peak demand of 100 kW or less per month conduct energy-efficient upgrade measures. Through this program, SmartWatt Energy will provide a complimentary energy analysis, and National Grid will pay up to 70 percent of the installation costs completed by SmartWatt Energy and finance the remaining amount interest-free for up to two years.
ABOUT SMARTWATT ENERGY, INC.
SmartWatt Energy is a unique energy-efficiency firm. It provides turnkey solutions for utilities, commercial, industrial and institutional clients and also develops proprietary software that streamlines internal workflow processes and provides comprehensive program reporting. SmartWatt Energy’s three divisions use cutting-edge technologies, design and processes to take on and solve their client’s toughest sustainability challenges:
•The Commercial, Industrial and Institutional Division works with end-use clients throughout the United States to design and install multi-measure energy-efficiency projects. Clients look to SmartWatt Energy to provide large-scale savings through turnkey energy auditing, engineering, project management and installation services.
•The Utility Division contracts directly with utilities to manage their commercial energy efficiency programs. SmartWatt Energy’s vertically integrated program delivery platform ensures utility program success and client satisfaction, because all elements of the utility program are handled by a talented, integrated, cross-functional team.
•The Software Development Division creates customized, proprietary software applications to increase efficiencies and provide added value to utilities and national accounts clients.
SmartWatt Energy has won an Inc. magazine “Hire Power” award and has twice been named one of the “Fastest Growing Private Companies in the United States” on the magazine’s annual 5000 list. For more information, visit http://www.smartwattinc.com.
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Why Parents Should Put Children Before Marriage
We live in an age when love, sex and intimacy seem to be many people’s epitome of happiness. Yes, we seek other ways to find happiness and fulfillment, but the rate of divorce and the percentage of single parent families compared with two-parent families tells me that parenting is either of less importance to parents than marriage or that they are uninformed about the effects of divorce on their children. Parents who leave an unhappy marriage for the sake of their children are not in possession of all the facts or are misguided in their belief that divorce is in the best interest of the children. The best wisdom out there says that children of divorce suffer more than children of unhappy marriages.
Here are 7 reasons why parents should put parenting before marriage.
1. Children need two parents more than they need a perfect home
The influence of both a male and female parent on a child’s development cannot be understated. A good mother, on balance brings a nurturing, protecting and comforting aspect to a child’s life, while a good father brings his child stability, security and strength. Mothers tend to be more emotional, fathers more rational. Mothers tend to be more understanding, fathers more decisive. A good mother may offer her child a shoulder to cry on while a good father may show his child how to get up and move on.
Of course, a good parent possesses all these qualities and shares the responsibility for providing their child with all their needs. But it is in the nature of a male parent to provide a child with answers and solutions and direction while it is more inherent in a female parent to be protective of a child’s emotional well-being and to be a good listener without feeling the need to give her child a logical solution to their problem.
Having both a male and female parent present in the home teaches a child how to explore and develop both the masculine and feminine aspects of their own character. In balanced adults there is a healthy presence of both male and female characteristics. In women, the balance will tend to be more feminine and in men, more masculine. If a child is to have the best chance to develop emotional stability then two parents are needed on a daily basis. Even the slightest change in the balance will have an adverse effect on a child’s emotional and intellectual development.
2. A child has a right to be brought up by two parents
Marriage is a choice that two people make for themselves. It is rarely a selfless or altruistic act. People marry because they find someone who brings them happiness and fulfilment in life. Of course, there is also the promise to live to make the other person happy. Even though the phrase “for better or for worse” is still often said in the marriage vows, more and more this promise is being broken as married couples find it’s a promise they are unable or unwilling to keep.
However, when a child is born into the marriage, it has rights which far outweigh the needs of the parents. Even though a couple desire to be fulfilled in their personal relationship with each other, a child has the right to be brought up by two loving, caring, selfless parents: parents who put their child’s interests before their own.
Parents rarely make a commitment to their children when they are born, but children ought to expect that their parents will do whatever it takes to give them a stable, loving home in which to grow and develop. In a good parent, the rights and needs of their child will always come before their own, whatever the cost to themselves.
3. To be a parent is a moral obligation – not a choice
There is never a time as long as a parent and a child are living when they will not be connected. Even if estranged, a parent will always be the parent to their child. There is no divorcing a child. There is no saying to a child ‘I’m sorry, I don’t love you anymore, this simply isn’t going to work’. But when two parents say that to each other, they are in some measure saying it to their child. Parents may put a spin on divorce by saying to the child ‘it’s better for you in the long run’ but the truth is – it isn’t. A child’s perspective will be ‘you don’t love me enough to stay together and make your marriage work’ – even if only subconsciously. While some may say ‘I’m glad my parents split up – I couldn’t stand the shouting’, what would they have said if their parents had found a way to make the marriage work in order to keep the family home together? Or are they even aware of the effects that growing up in a broken home has had on them?
The love between a husband and wife can wane or even be extinguished, but the love of a good parent is unconditional and unmovable. A marriage can breakdown and be dissolved, but the love that a good parent has for their child can never be diminished and their commitment to their child can never be undermined or broken. The commitment that a parent has to their child is not one based on choice, it’s one based on moral obligation. It would be even better if it were based on unconditional love. What lengths would a good parent go to to provide their child with the very best upbringing they could if they truly loved them more than themselves?
4. A child deserves and expects it
During their formative years, children depend upon both parents to show that they are committed to them. They need to see that they are loved and to know that their home is stable and secure. They need to know that no matter what storms the family has to face together, the foundations of the family home cannot be shaken. Children need the certainty that the love their parents have for them comes above their own personal happiness – that it indeed comes before their love for each other. When a parent puts a child’s interests second to their own it will make their child feel unloved and second-rate. The child will begin to doubt their own worth and their value to the parent. After all, what kind of love puts someone else second?
If a child doesn’t deserve a parent’s unconditional and undying love then who does? Children are vulnerable and need protecting. Parents have a responsibility to give their child the best parenting they possibly can whatever the cost to themselves. A child has no reserves on which to draw to cover the emotional shortfall which results from growing up in a broken home. Parents, on the other hand should be prepared to go into emotional debt if they have to in order to make sure their child does not grow up emotionally poor or crippled.
5. Spouses can expect too much from each other, but children never expect too much from their parents.
Marriages are not perfect, neither are parent-child relationships. But a child deserves understanding, provision, support, affection, and security moreso than a spouse. After all, when two people get married, they make an agreement to love each other and provide for each other’s needs. When a child is born, no such agreement takes place. A child simply grows up expecting all that’s coming to them. When one person in a marriage fails to uphold their part of the agreement, the other has every right to withdraw their own part of the agreement. So often, when the love that one has for the other depends on what they ‘get’ out of the relationship, if they ain’t ‘getting’ then the love dies. But this only works one way with a child-parent relationship.
When a child fails to be a perfect child, a parent cannot abandon them or withdraw their love from them. The child still has the right to expect to be loved unconditionally. Children owe nothing to their parents, but parents owe everything to their children. If a child fails to love a parent as they would like to be loved, the parent must go on loving their child nonetheless. The child has no debt of love to pay to the parent. But if a parent loves their child unconditionally, that child will grow up to love their parent too. If a parent fails to love their child more than themselves, the child will withdraw from the parent to a greater or lesser degree.
Even though good parents will fail their child in some measure, a child’s expectations of the parents are always right – even if unrealistic. Good parents will always understand that they are not married to their child – they are inextricably connected and committed to their child and that a child has a birthright to expect unreserved love and commitment from their parents regardless of how much a child returns their parents’ affections or lives up to their expectations.
6. A broken home results in a broken child
Somewhere along the way, when a child is brought up by one parent or by two parents who live apart, something in the child is lost or broken. Having two parents who could not find it in themselves to stay together to give them a stable home will have a detrimental effect on a child. It may not emerge till later in life, but a person from a broken home may find it difficult to make strong emotional connections with others. Statistics show that people from single-parent homes are less successful in life – even years afterwards – than those from two-parent families.
While parents may argue that they split up for the child’s sake, in actuality, it’s rare that divorce ever benefits a child. Growing up in a home even where parents are disconnected or in constant disagreement gives a child more stability and normality than growing up where they have to deal with the loss of the two-parent home. A child growing up in a broken home grows up grieving for the intact home where two parents are available on a daily basis to provide them with the moral, emotional and intellectual support essential to their development and nourishment. The best parenting cannot be done over the telephone or on weekends. The best parenting is done on a daily basis and in partnership with the other parent. No matter how parents try to justify divorce, it will nearly always result in a broken child.
7. Putting parenting first may save a marriage
Children should never be used as an excuse not to leave a marriage, but they can be the reason why a parent would stay in a marriage. The difference is that if a parent knows that to provide their child with a stable, loving and peaceful home in which to grow up will give them the best possible start in life, it may give them the resolve they need to work harder at their marriage than if they had not been a parent. Whereas, not leaving a marriage for the sake of a child is a mindset which can result in a parent putting too much responsibility on their child to bring them personal happiness.
If parents can proactively take steps to make a marriage workable so that their child has the home they deserve, they may find that their marriage becomes less of a disappointment. Focusing on the needs of their child and resolving to work at their relationship for the sake of their child doesn’t necessarily mean that the marriage is false or a sham. It merely shifts the priorities of the marriage. Nor does it mean that the child carries the burden of keeping the marriage together. It merely requires a level of giving to the child that supercedes the parents’ desire to take from each other. Providing a child with a good home is one of the best reasons two people can stay together.
Who said that romance or sex or a great social life are the only reasons to be married? Surely, providing a child with a loving home is as good, if not, a better reason for working at a marriage than all the others put together? The result of working at the marriage wouldn’t be to prevent the pain of separation for the parents, it would be the enduring and immeasurable investment that they make in the well-being and personal development of their child. If parents can keep their child the focus of their ambitions and desires, they can find ways they otherwise wouldn’t have done to make their marriage workable and as enjoyable as possible and thus provide their child with the parents and the home they deserve.
http://stayforyourchildren.com
Stephen Rees
Having worked at a difficult marriage for 20 years in order to bring up my two children my desire is to encourage and help other parents in a similar situation to do the same. My core belief on parenting is that a good parent can find ways of making a marriage work – even if not fulfilling – in order to provide their children with a stable, happy home in which to grow up.
The modern belief that leaving a bad marriage for the sake of the children has no evidential basis. In fact, studies on both sides of the Atlantic have shown that children who come from homes where both parents are present even if the marriage isn’t a good one, develop better emotionally and intellectually than those who come from broken homes. Parents who are considering divorce should take notice of this evidence if they truly want the best for their children.
My book “How To Be A Good Parent In A Bad Marriage” provides encouragement and support for parents who find themselves struggling to cope with the stresses and traumas of being a parent in an unhappy marriage, and shows how you can find happiness and fulfillment in life while being a great parent to your children.
[http://stayforyourchildren.com]
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